Jealousy Isn't Always a Bad Thing
by kwityerbeliaken
Summary: Some shocking news of Wichita's feelings leaves Columbus in a jealous haze. But who knew that the ultimate subject of his problems with his girlfriend would end up liking Columbus instead? Tallumbus, Slash, Rated M for SMUT.
1. Words of a Paranoid Schizophrenic

Tallumbus. Haha, sounds funny~  
Rated M for yaoi smuttiness. I'm only making this a one shot, since I never finish my other ones and need to get back to them. I just wanted to get this one out, since I looooove the prospect of Tallahassee and Columbus together. I just hate it in some fanfics where Tallahassee calls Columbus 'spitfuck' like friggin, all the time. But that's just my opinion. And I quote from my mother, "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one."  
Pleaaaase enjoy :]

* * *

Zombieland had been good to us in many ways, and bad to us in many more ways. For good; no crowds, lines. There wasn't anyone to tell you what you could, or couldn't do. I also loved the idea of having no responsibilities, like work, school, or obligations. Didn't have to worry about the economy over here either.

And, of course, there were the bad things. The lack of crowds, lines, people who define, enforced, and kept the law. There wasn't anything like school, work, or normal hobbies to pass time such as sports or World of Warcraft. And of course, all those fucking zombies.

The gang and I, consisting of Wichita, Little Rock, and Tallahassee were on our way to Mexico. It wasn't as bad as it seemed, since most of the Mexican zombies had already crossed the border into the U.S. of A. I laughed at the sheer irony of it all.

We had crossed into the border, and sped past the near drawing big city. Zombies covered the area, and it was really a thrilling, undesirable experience.

By the end of the day, we had journeyed to a past ghost town, and Tallahassee put any near but few zombies to peace, at long last.

He caught a glimpse of me, who was leaning against the passengers seat, hands rubbing at my temples, trying to relieve the stress. Tallahassee scoffed, rolled his eyes, and sought out for the convenience store. I calmed down finally, as all the zombies had taken a toll on me. Wichita came to comfort me, so understandingly.

**"Why're you acting like such a wuss? Even she wasn't as scared." **Wichita nodded towards Little Rock in the back, who was sleeping peacefully. Okay, I take that back; she's not as understanding as I thought.

**"I swear, that Grandma zombie almost had me if it weren't for Tallahassee!"** I tried to defend myself quietly, before I heard a, **"You're welcome" **as called out by Tallahassee, who was now coming back out of the store. He held in his hands some food, and water. Walking towards the car, he came to the side where I was at, as if he wanted to talk. I rolled down the window and watched as he leaned his arms on the car's windowsill, himself close to I. I couldn't help but notice even then, how handsome he was. He was greatly built, had the grin of a devilish, sexy incubus. It was a surprise that Wichita seemed to like me, instead of him.

**"There's a motel right at the end of this here strip. Let's spend the night there." **He started to walk towards it, as if denying a ride with us. Wichita pulled from the curb and started driving towards it.

**"... Little Rock and I'll take one room. You can bunk with Tallahassee, okay?" **Wichita started, to which I sighed.

**"What is it?"** She inquired, her eyes switching from the road onto mine.

Braving up a bit, I started with a calm, **"Well, I thought that since we're going out, we might as well share a room together. I mean, all we've done is kiss, right?" **Maybe that was a bit too brave, as her look became solemn. She stopped the car half way there.

**"Look... Columbus..."** I turned towards her, chewing on a string of my sweater out of nervous habit. She began again,** "About us... I'm not sure its gonna work."**

The string dropped from my lips. **"Whaddya mean its not gonna-"** I would've finished, but she cut me off harshly.

**"I don't feel the same way that you might. I mean, no offense, but you're a wimp! I can't handle being with someone who can barely defend themselves, let alone myself, or Little Rock. Maybe someone like Tallahassee, or..."**

**"None taken."** I muttered dryly, before my eyes shot wide open. **"Wait, wait wait; what about Tallahassee?"** I declared angrily, more loudly than I should've.

She was a bit flustered now, gorgeous cheeks a pink hue.** "I was just saying, for an example..."** It was my turn to be harsh. Of course, when I was about to start, the back door opened.

**"Why'd you guys stop? Step on it." **Tallahassee, the center of our argument, entered the car, sat down with his newly acquired provisions, and shut the door behind him. The trip back was silent, and tense.

I sat at the table in Tallahassee's and my room, sulking a bit. I crossed my arms on the table, and let my head sink into it. **"You got beef, boy?"** Asked he sharply, noting my odd behavior. I whined incoherently, and he just sighed. I heard his body drop down on the bed, as it creaked, and I could hear his boots drop onto the floor as he kicked them off. Wordlessly, he drifted off into sleep. I could tell, since his snoring gave his unconsciousness away. Scowling, I abruptly stood from the chair and went inside the bathroom to take a shower.

Refreshed, feeling rejuvenated even, I walked out with a towel around my waist. I stood, inches from the bed, and gazed at the sleeping cowboy. **"What the Hell's so great about you anyway?"** I murmured darkly, before retrieving a clean pair of briefs, a shirt and sweats from the one piece of luggage I took with me. I slipped into the outfit, before sitting on the edge of the bed. He snorted, in his sleep, and rolled flat onto his back. Sitting still, I examined him further before crawling towards his way, gazing at him from a closer distance on my hands and knees. I could clearly see how well defined and masculine he was. Not to mention the near perfect curvature of his chin, nose, and lips. His hair had lengthened a bit, but not nearly long enough to do anything with it. **"'Can't even brush hair over your ear..."** I commented, then brushed my own annoying, shaggy, curly hair over my ear. Faltering for only a second, I reached out to gently skim my fingers through a stray strand of his blond, shiny hair, before bringing it around his own ear. His hand suddenly shot out and grabbed my wrist.

He flipped our positions totally, where he had straddled himself on top of me, pinning both wrists hard above my head with his large, calloused hands. I whimpered, out of sheer surprise and fear. And... maybe something else?

**"..."** The room went silent, except the few hints of our breathing. I stared for what seemed like a millennium at him, while he stared daggers at me. He maneuvered both of my wrists into one of his hands as he used the other to support himself on the bed, once he lowered in on me. Lips of mine trembled ever so slightly, until he kissed them.

Out of shock, and clear defiance, I struggled. He held my waist with his free hand, making me grind up against him. I let out another noise, eyes squinting shut, before I violently broke the kiss. His hips doing plenty to weight me down, Tallahassee worked on unbuckling his belt with one hand, before he used the very same belt to fix my hands together. He looped and buckled the belt around one of the bed posts, then went back down on me.

**"T-Tallahassee, stop right now!"** I cried out, voice cracking from fear. I let out a low moan as his lips caressed my neck. Damn body of mine, how could you betray me? His tongue lashed out at my collar bone, his rough hand squeezing at the growing bulge in my pants. Not being able to resist him, literally, I figured that it wouldn't hurt as much if I went along with it. I still tugged at my restraints, feeling a burn where leather and skin made contact. The large, older male lifted up my shirt over my chest so he could kiss and nip at it. The more he teased at my nipples, the harder they grew, and the more erect I became. Could we even call this rape, as I was starting to enjoy it so much.

**"Seriouslyyy... Tallaahh..." **He ground his hips down against mine, and I made a sharp cry. Forcefully, nearly ripping my sweats off, he slid the briefs gently off of my slender waist and hips. The hungry look in his eyes and features was scaring me, and my body was shaking.

**"Just shut up, and take it like a man." **Tallahassee growled, weaving one hand through my head of hair, then yanked on it, smashing our lips together. Honestly, how could I take it like a man when I felt less like one, every single other moment he abused me like this? I kissed him back, only to make it easier for myself (I was assured), and shook as he started to stroke my revealed manhood. It twitched heartily in his hand, and my hips all too willingly pushed up into that coarse hand. I let the kiss naturally break, as I panted hard. The pleasure was intense, but it was slowly fading away, since I felt something strange probing around my entrance. I felt a slick finger push in, and hadn't even the time to think about how he had it slicked and prepared. He wriggled it in, and my insides squeezed around it, trying to adjust.

**"Arrrgh~...!"** I let out a harsh sound, followed by a hiss as he slid another digit in to accompany the first one. **"Yeah... that's nice." **Commented Tallahassee in a hoarse voice, pumping me in his hand, and his two fingers inside of me. My hands fought against the belt, until it finally loosened to the point of falling off. It was too late though, as I already had succumbed into him. I wrapped an arm around his neck, while the other stripped him of his shirt. I cried out loud as he worked on me, my hand finding and massaging his strong pec, all the while trying to bring him closer.

**"Take me! Take me,_ please_ please please..." **I sobbed into his shoulder, feeling his hand slide off of my pre-cum slathered cock, and also those two large fingers leave my begging hole. He unzipped his jeans, handled himself from his boxers, and lubed his hard on up with an improvising solution of his own saliva.

With a grunt, all at once, he shoved himself inside me. At first, I begged him to take it out. It hurt like a mother, to have himself fully sheathed inside me. But he cooed and whispered sweet things into my ear, calling me tenderhearted names as he moved in and out of me. He quickened his slow pace once he heard me moan and felt me adjust to him. Our arms tightly wrapped around each other, he continued to drive himself into me, until the pace became so erratic and wild that it was hard for the both of us to hold on.

I was the first to go. I spurted my finishings onto his chest and mine, and nearly melted when I felt his own seed trickle inside me. He let go of my bruised hips that he had used as a propeller to get him deeper and harder inside. Our breathing went shallow then, but matched all the same. He calmed down sooner then I did, and he took himself from out of me once he softened. Hovering over me still, he took a careful hold of a curl of mine, and stroked it behind my ear. My face, already flushed from our recent activity, grew bashful, as I had never thought I'd be on the receiving end of such an act.

**"Don't you worry about why Wichita likes me, since I like you more anyways."** The promise was endearing, and right now I was too tired to react that he knew about Wichita's preference over Tallahassee and I. All in all, he had comforted me, and given me something even greater than I could've ever expected to gain with Wichita.

Still unknowing about what that something was, at this time, I fell asleep first this time, leaving him to lie beside me, and contemplate whatever he would.

* * *

Wooht. Feedback? 8D


	2. Tallahassee's Say

This is the second chappie of a one shot, and I had planned to keep it that way, but I got such nice reviews I couldn't say no! I'd like to personally thank those who read and reviewed especially, as well as GooooodPie for this chappie's plot. Just for you bby ;D (OHH YEAH)

And by the way, this will be in Tallahassee's point of view, just lettin' ya know so you won't get mixed up.

* * *

There was a loud crash and bang from the east end of the second floor of the motel that the gang had stayed in for the night. I faltered in my sleep, as being a heavy sleeper I was susceptible to ignoring whatever it was trying to wake me up. Besides, I was feelin' great, after a good night of enjoying some ass, and some sleep for once. I was a fuckin' happy camper.

**"Tallahassee... Tallahassee!"** I heard from the smaller body entrapped in my arms, feeling a few pushes, which then turned into hard shoves. Then the little prick had to go and punch me, just to get me off of him.

**"Damnit, 'llumbus!"** I cursed, now on the floor of the bed, rubbing my jaw, glaring up at him. Of course then, the sudden realization of what was probably going on near the girls room hit me, and I hurriedly stood up to grab my gun and head out there.

**"Good mornin', Zombies."** I sighed contentedly, as a green lookin', Mexican one charged at me, mouth gurgling with whatever the hell kinda concoction that was. I shot my pistol at his head, then clocked him with it, before swinging a nice two by four I had picked up earlier. I made a racket with this, as to attract anymore hungry, soulless fiends. When no reply came, I ran to the girls' room.

**"Ya'll okay? I got rid of 'em, so there shouldn't be any reason to fuss-"** I, Tallahassee, was interrupted by a loud, shrill scream from the youngest girl, Little Rock.

**"What the fuck ya'll screamin' for? I said I got 'em!"** I replied, glaring at her as if she were stupid, or somefin'. She hid her face and screamed some more.

**"You're naked! That's sooo gross, put something on~"** Little Rock cried into her pillow. Wichita just stared at one particular place on my body, before I headed the hell out of there back to the room.

**"..."** I made it back to the room silently, noting that Columbus had already been dressed and ready to go, in case there was a hoard of zombies that just required running from. He stared at me inquisitively, before he put piece to piece together, and started laughing.

**"Shut it."** I replied gravely, going into the shower to get dressed, as he continued packing.

We were then heading down south from Mexico city, and the car was pretty quiet. I was driving, with Little Rock in the front, staring out her window, and with the two other adults in the back. For good measure, I popped in an old cassette of mine that played Marty Robbins' Gunslinger album. I grew up listening to that stuff, and it always comforted me. Thankfully, it somewhat helped the tension in the air, as Little Rock spoke up after awhile, hearing Marty Robbins' _Billy the Kid_.

**"Billy the Kid? Who's he?"** Asked Little Rock with a bit of a confused smirk, her small arms folded across her chest as she stared up at me. She was a tough kid for being able to talk to me after having seen what she saw.

**"Shoot."** I started with a knowing, nostalgic sounding laugh.** "Billy the Kid's only the roughest, toughest gunslinger you'd ever find. Didja hear the part in the song, 'At the age of twelve years he did kill his first man'? This guy was ruthless. He'd kill coppers an' regular cowboys all the same. I used to want to be like him, when I was yer age."** Although Billy the Kid hadn't exactly been a good role model, his life had taught me a great deal.

**"But the Kid ends up gettin' stabbed in the back by his ol' friend, Sheriff Patt Garrett. Now _there's_ a guy who should've been a lil' bit more keen on who he trusted."** I said somberly, eyes flitting up to the adjustable mirror above, only to see Wichita being a little too close to Columbus, whispering something in his ear.

I stopped the car abruptly, before whipping my head around to check the two out. The car was silent but for the old cowboy's song.

**"W-What?"** Asked Wichita in a breathy laugh, her mouth pulling away from the ear of a flushed, confused looking Columbus.

**"Just thought I saw somethin' _funny_."** I spat back, before starting to drive on again.

It wasn't really clear where we were goin', but I had an idea it we were aimin' for a secluded spot, zombie free. We wanted sanctuary, just some down time to relax, not have to worry about gettin' bitten. All the while, I could still hear Wichita and that lil' fucker talkin' in the back, laughing. She was getting more and more comfortable around him, touchin' his leg. And I thought she liked me?

And who the hell does Columbus think he is to be flirtin' back with her? He doesn't seriously think he can cheat on me without any consequences?

We took a rest stop down by this one national park. I wasn't fluent or anything in Spanish, and the park's name was really hard to pronounce. There was greenery all around, tall trees to green covered mountains, a waterfall here and there. It seemed like a haven, as there had only been a park ranger zombie that Little Rock had taken the initiative to kill with a crowbar I lent her.

**"Let's break here."** I said, sitting on a bench near the man made bathrooms, leaning my arms on the top of the table. Little Rock had brought some cards to play. The four of us sat there playing Texas hold 'em, and of course I was winnin' most of the time.

**"I-I've got to go to the bathroom."** Declared Columbus with a polite nod, excusing himself before pulling a pistol from my holster, just in case any zombies were about. He was always so paranoid with that stupid list of his, what with limberin' up, puttin' yer seat belt on. It was weird, but these little kinks he had only made me like him more. He was so particular and orderly about things, and it was refreshing to me, who had been used to being free and wild. Hell, he put solstice to my otherwise bleak, zombie killin' life.

And there was no _way_ I was losing him to that damned bitch.

I snapped from my line of thinking then, only to find Little Rock and I the only ones vacating the table.

**"...Where's Wichita?"** I asked, as Lil' Rock cleared her throat, dealing out another round of cards.

**"She said she needed to go pee."** Replied she unashamedly, before I arose from the table myself.

**"W-Wichita!"** I heard him breathe then, as I silently entered the boy's section of the restrooms. I snarled only to hear a muffled moan on his part.

I kicked down the door they were in, to find Wichita straddling a half naked Columbus on the toilet, her lips once locked on his before she gasped all innocent like, pulling herself off him.

**"Tallahassee, it isn't what-"** She started then, trying to zip up her tight jeans at the same time.

I cut her off with an angry, **"Shut the fuck UP!"** I took her by the shoulder and pushed her out of the stall before entering, and shut it behind me.

**"Ohh, Tallahassee!"** Wichita exclaimed erotically, before she opened her eyes to find that the strong, rough blond wasn't on her right now, jealous from the fact that she had been teasing Columbus all day.

No, I was pretty jealous alright, but not of that little, gorgeous, friggin' _amazing_ Spitfuck.

I was already on him, too pissed of to think clearly as I wiped his mouth off with the neck of his shirt, before I kissed him myself fervently. I heard a gasp from outside the stall, followed by the click clacking of her heals toward the outside.

**"What the h-hell, Tallahassee?"** Columbus said angrily, and somewhat confused, trying to push myself off him. He failed, however, as my body just leaned more into his, my lips crushing his once more, starting to take advantage of the situation Wichita had left him in. Being pantless, and without underwear, that damned harlot already made him hard. But there were just somethings that Wichita couldn't give him.

**"You lil' fucker... think you can just try your hand at fuckin' Wichita, when I've already staked my claim on you?"** I growled, attacking his neck with lips, tongue and teeth, while he emitted a moan. I could feel him grow even bigger down below.

**"Who said I was yours?"** He exclaimed in a shrill tone, just as I started working on his steadily growing erection with my hand. Columbus gasped, and I went for a deep kiss, retrieving myself out of my hands just as quickly. For someone who hadn't wanted this, Columbus sure wasn't actin' like it. His arms were wrapped around me, his voice and body were practically begging for it.

**"This what you want?"** I asked harshly, holding myself in my right hand with the other holding Columbus' leg up. My dick slapped against his ass, steadily positioning it in front, nearly probing. With a shudder and a grunt, Columbus' flushed head nodded erratically, his ass grinding against me. With a low moan, I complied with his wishes, and tried my hand at fucking him once more.

Being the second time in just a short while, Columbus was surprisingly even more loud then last time. Though, instead of crying out in pain, he was loudly crying out for more, cussing once in a little while, his legs wrapped around me as I drove myself hard in and out of him. I eventually switched our positions to where I was sitting, and he was on top riding me, back facing me.

**"Lil' whore... go ahead and try fuckin' yourself on me."** I demanded, letting my head fall back gently against the wall as he complied, his hips slamming down on mine only to wiggle his hips back up. He made a gyrating motion with his hips, leaving me in a wanton haze. No longer being able to take it anymore, I held him by the stomach and started to fuck him from below rather vigorously.

**"Tallahassee! Tallahassee!"** He called my name over and over again, his muscles coiling and clamping around my slightly slicked up member. I couldn't take it anymore and filled him to the brim with my bitter seed.

His body sunk against mine after the dramatic climax, and I enjoyed the afterglow we shared, letting him rest for awhile on top of me, before I started to kiss the side of his neck from behind.

**"I... I love you."** I said lowly, my arms still wrapped around him. **"I really do. It's just... the way she was flirtin' with you, and what I saw in the bathroom."**

**"You... were jealous?"** He muttered inquiringly with a bit of disbelief, before he let out a wary chuckle.

**"_Mighty_ Jealous."** I replied, staring at his back until he turned around on top of me, moaning some as I slipped out of him. Still on my lap, his arms wrapped warmly around my neck.

**"Y-You don't have to be jealous of her. I know Wichita doesn't like me. She was probably just using me to get to you."** He replied calmly, before leaning back a little, to meet my gaze with his.

**"Why would you go along with it?"** I asked confusedly, before raising my eyebrows and continuing, **"You _wanted_ me to be jealous?"**

Columbus blushed ashamedly and shook his head, before replying with a shaky,** "I don't know how long you're going like me, or when you're going to get bored of me and throw me away. In an effort to prevent that from ever happening... I... I...!"**

I stopped him with a chaste kiss to his lips, before ruffling his curly Jew hair. **"Don't worry 'bout that kinda stuff. Stooge."**

**"... Yeah."** He said with a sweet smile, before kissing me back.

It wasn't long before we were cleaned up and headed further south again, along the trails of the park, while Wichita insisted on driving this time. I was in the front, while Columbus and Little Rock were in the back. Then, it suddenly hit me.

**"Hey, why the fuck were you so damn compliant in the bathroom? You sure didn't look like you were puttin' on an act then!"** I whipped my head around to him and he stared back at me, horribly flushed and mortified that I'd even bring this up around the others.

**"I-I-I was thinking of _you_ the whole time!"** He replied, his voice cracking. I growled, the girls laughed, and it seemed as if we were a normal, happy family again.

But what a fucked up family we were.

* * *

AHHHH! I used the word spitfuck. D; I wanna dieee

Reviews are loved bby ;D


End file.
